Manny Pacquiao Fails Blood Test
Phillipines- Boxing legend Manny Pacquiao may face legal trouble due to a failed blood test days after fighting Floyd Mayweather.
On May 5th, a spokeswoman from Version Marey Testing Center came forward with startling results. “We were influenced by some influential bookies,” the Version Marey spokeswoman said, “to test more than the usual drugs. We found that although Pacquiao was not taking illegal substances, he failed the test for the Phillip Hino Genetic Disorder.”
This is a crushing setback for a country that is only known for Manny Pacquiao, Bruno Mars, billiards, and lumpia.
“It’s true, I’m rrrreally Mexican,” Pacquiao said when confronted at a Mexican restaurant on Cinco de Mayo.
Mexico’s independence day falling on Taco Tuesday is an event that only happens once every hundred years. Thousands consider Manny Pacquiao sharing the truth on this rare day to be kismet.
“I guess most people think of Mexicans as dirty and lazy,” Pacquiao said. “That’s not true, but I didn’t want to fight. That’s not the kind of person I am.”
When asked if he was worried about failing Pacquiao shrugged and said “They can’t do anything just because I don’t have Phillip Hino Genetic Disorder.” Then Manny Pacquiao ordered a lumpia taco while making obscene gestures at the waitress.
Upon learning about Pacquiao’s blood test Floyd Mayweather said “I told you guys it is the hug and jab, the hug and jab, not the jab and hug technique. The jab is about creating distance. Why would you create distance- then close in for the hug?”