Cecil Peoples Ejaculates on Score Card
Las Vegas, NV – Lab results confirmed that a UFC score card turned in by judge Cecil Peoples was covered in significant amounts of his semen, an official from the Nevada State Athletic Commission said.
“I actually held that score card in my bare hands” said Ryan Belfin, the NSAC operational director of mixed martial arts and boxing.
Last month, Peoples judged the bantamweight bout between Clarence Griffith and Guillermo Torres, scoring it 3o to 27 in favor of Torres.
Peoples then handed the card to Belfin, that night’s NSAC ringside official, who noticed that it felt wet and slick.
“I sniffed my fingers out of instinct,” Belfin said. “The way it smelled, I think I kind of knew what [the fluid on the card] was, especially since I had spotted [Peoples] a couple times during the fight with his hand under the table, looking at his phone really intently.”
“But I didn’t want to believe it,” Belfin added. “I just kept telling myself he spilled his drink, and that drink happened to be a bottle of expired lotion.”
In the following weeks, Belfin conducted a formal investigation, which consisted of obtaining various body fluid samples from Peoples and sending them to a laboratory. The lab results came back Tuesday and confirmed his initial suspicions: semen.
This isn’t the first time Peoples has been in an ejaculation-related scandal. In 2007, while refereeing an MMA bout for a regional promotion, he sneaked away and began masturbating into the corner. With his back to the action, he didn’t notice a fighter getting knocked unconscious and then punched repeatedly until 75 seconds later when he was finished.
The NSAC suspended him 30 days for that.
UFC officials say they’re not surprised by Peoples’ latest faux pas but are powerless to do anything.
“I want everyone to understand that the UFC has no control over referees or judges, in any way shape or form,” company president Dana White said. “Cecil Peoples can get up out of his chair, climb up onto the Octagon, and jizz all over a ring card girl, and we can’t say shit about it if the NSAC wants him in there, which for some reason they do.”
Belfin said that Peoples won’t be fired and probably won’t be suspended, but that he would receive paid training on “the importance of not ejaculating onto a fight card.”
“On the bright side,” Belfin said, “this still isn’t as bad as his scoring of the first Shogun-Machida fight.”